Icanhearyourbrainkun!
by crackheadedfreaks
Summary: Just one of those days where Yuuri is a victim of one of Anissina's inventions. Enter the Crack! All warnings apply. Not for the faint-hearted.


Authors' Note:

We, the Crack Heads, do NOT own Kyou Kara Maoh, Turtle-dogs/cats, "Enchanted", Haydn's Hallelujah or even the Kotsuhizoku but we DO own Demonberry Jam XDDDD

Serii-pyon [aka, the Head]: What's Demonberry Jam?

B3ll3happy [aka, the Crack]: Uhm. Jam from demonberries? Get yours now for only $123456.987898!

*The Head rolls her eyes*

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This particular morning in the Great Demon Kingdom was going well. Everyone in the Great Demon Kingdom woke up with feelings of GREAT refreshingly feminine joy. All the women of the different households were singing, the men were all happy with their wives' husbands *wink, wink* even the turtle-dogs and turtle-cats got along.

They actually got along so well that they were playing together with so much love while the Kohi were flying around and they were SMILING with gayness [gay = synonym of joy].

The Demon King Yuri Shibuya was, of course, no exception from this.

When our young king Yuri Shibuya woke up, he felt a sudden burst of excitement and joy in his chest [ZOMG man boobs] that tells him happiness and good fortune will await him today. This he felt, because his heart was prancing and dancing with pure feminine joy at the moment.

He giddily got out of his bed and walked to the balcony. The view was breathtaking, the sun was shining [how could it not] and Wolfram was nowhere to be seen at the moment. There were even cute little birds singing "True Love's Kiss".

_(You know, the one from the movie "Enchanted")_

He was so happy that he greeted loudly and happily to everyone.

"Good Morning Everyone! Peace and Love to You All!" He greeted, with all his might.

"GOOD MORNING, O GREAT DEMON KING WHO IS ALMIGHTILY HOT" They replied.

The Demon King was then filled with Satisfaction TM.

He then went down to the dining hall, for his breakfast. While he sat down and ate his Demonberry Jam on Demoncakes (his favorite breakfast dish, to be precise) he was greeted by his cute little daughter, Greta.

"Good morning Daddy!"

In fact, the Demonberry Jam tasted like heaven, and the birds flew in and sang the Hallelujah Chorus in such perfect unison that the dear king was about to wet his royal pants with joy, and decided to ignore his daughter.

He then saw Two and a Half of the Brotherly Trio (Conrad was _half_-demon, remember?), along with Günter and the Great Sage, Ken Murata.

Wolfram didn't get angry at him for once, and Conrad was grinning widely (As usual). Günter wasn't even hugging him and smothering him with hugs and kisses (which is considered VERY peculiar). Murata was watching from the distance, smiling and thinking of mysterious things (which will be revealed later on).Gwendal though, was missing and so was Anissina (Probably experimenting on how to reproduce…). Even so, Breakfast time was heaven for the now satisfied and relaxed Yuri Shibuya.

Bath time was no exception from this fortunately relaxing morning. The water wasn't too hot or too cold, it was just right. There were no other guys bathing around, so he enjoyed the calmness of the empty Pubic Bathing Room.

"Aah~", he thought. "What can go wrong today? The birds are singing, no one was fighting over me, today's breakfast was delicious, and my daughter's a perfectly sweet angel that I purposely ignored."

Yuri then sank into the bathtub, reminiscing about his sweet little morning. He was excited at how the rest of his day will be along with his good fortune.

_Little did the naïve king knows that his day will go FAR from peaceful. His day will shake up his life FOREVER~ *Flashes of Lightning*_

As the young king was skipping and prancing along the corridor, humming his favorite tune "Hateshinaku Tooi Sora Ni", a loud girlish scream was heard, screeching into his ears as if something terrifying was happening (there is something terrifying happening).

"EEEEEEEEEEK! SOMEONE! HELP ME PLEASE!"

Then came uncontrollable laughter, a laughter that shook the entire castle.

As Yuri was frightened by death, he noticed two people running around.

It was Gwendal, being chased by Anissina.

"Hahahaha!!! You can never escape from my new invention, the I-can-hear-your-brain-kun! Whoever's shot by this gun will be able to read minds!!!"

They came closer to Yuri, running at a 100 km/ph. Anissina's hand brought out a pink, demonic-looking ray gun.

ZAP! Anissina shot the ray gun, with intentions to shoot Gwendal.

Unfortunately, Gwendal dodged the shot (while running at 100 km/ph), and it hit Yuri Shibuya.

THE RAY GUN HIT YURI.

*Insert scary background tune here*

While he was collapsing in super-slow motion (ala Matrix, complete with extra-supercalifragilistically-elastic bending), Yuuri was watching his early childhood before him.

_YURI'S BIRTH_

"_Waaaa! Waaaa!"_

"_Congratulations, Mrs. Shibuya, it's a healthy baby girl!"_

"_Oh, Hooray! I've always wanted a daughter to dress up and leave in the streets when I get bored! Isn't that right, dearie?"_

"_Oh yes, sweetie pie. Doctor, may we take a look at our baby girl?"_

"_Of course, sir."_

"_Oh, sweetie pie, look at our healthy baby… BOY?!"_

"_Oh dearie, you're making a mistake. It's a GIRL."_

"_No sweetie pie, it's a BOY. Do you see that little thing in between the legs? I think it's his royal part."_

"_Oh My Gawd! I think you're right!!! But how did the doctors make such a mistake? Explain, Doc."_

"_I'm sorry, we just didn't notice it since it was SO tiny. He may have some urinary problems in the future. Let's just hope it gets bigger."_

"_Oh dearie, he'll be laughed at by the other children! We must hide the fact that it's a boy!"_

"_We'll just hide the fact from other children, and we'll only tell Onii-chan about this."_

_YURI'S FIRST TRIP HOME_

"_Shori! Meet your new sibling!!!"_

"_Ah, so it's a baby brother?"_

"_Shori dear! How did you know it was a boy? It took us three whole hours! "_

" _Well DUH, because he has a nametag saying BOY."_

"_Well, can you keep it a secret from everyone else? We'll just call him 'Yuriko' for the moment."_

"_Fine, but you better give me something good."_

"_Alright, we'll give you an Xbox 360. Is that cool?"_

_*Shrugs*"Actually, Father, I wanted a dating-sim game. But, I guess an Xbox 360 is all right"._

_And this was when Shori wasn't even circumcised yet. Tsk._

_***END FLASHBACK***_

"So that's why they called me 'Yuriko'_", _thought Yuri.

The young king was still in super slow motion. And finally, he collapsed.

Time was flowing again.

In his last moments of consciousness he saw an image of Gwendal crying, and Anissina grinning like crazy.

Let's just hope he lives long enough to see Greta's wedding with Beatrice.

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A/N: Pwnd.


End file.
